And so where do I go from here...

It's been a while...deal with it. It has been crazy around here with school starting and I am looking for a different job. I have a few issue regarding this blog. I really feel like I need someplace to just bitch and vent and I really don't care who, if anyone reads this. I mean I am not out advertising this blog you know. I would love to have the link to my blog in my facebook page, but a lotr of my friends on there are people I went to high school with and I am not sure I want them reading all the shit I have posted about here. Hell I don't know. My most recent bitch is simply that I am not sure what to do about my nephew's b-day. I have a card and I will for sure send it to him...but a gift is much more difficult. I don't want to do cash or a gift card. He's 3 and I am thinking that a savings bond is a good idea. At least that way I know he will get the gift someday. This is all due to the fact that my brother and I are not currently on speaking terms. That certainbly muddies the waters. I can't even guarantee that he won't return the card to sender. Dickhead.

And so here's a story I haven't shared....

How bio-dad died. It will be 10 years on September 4th. I suppose that is why I feel compelled to discuss it now. To put it simply...he was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was on I-70 near Dayton, Oh and a car came onto the road from an on ramp crossing all lanes of traffic. It had been raining and the roads were slick. He could not avoid hitting her. When he did, he was thrown off his bike and over the top of her car. He went head first into the cement barrier that divides the north and south bound lanes, killing him instantly. I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter...his first grandchild. I had not talked to him in years. I was sad...but more in a "oh my great uncle died" sort of way. I didn't really know him and i didn't have a relationship with him. But I felt and still do that there was unfinished business between us. I went to the viewing. I was bitched at my his mom and put down by his wife (the 7th one). It was a closed casket and I didn't view the body. I suppose it sounds morbid, but I wish I had. I feel like there is no closure.